Post-NYR Bounce

Eating: nothing, waiting for DL to get back to me about lunch

Drinking: lots of water

Listening: Gamelan of Central Java 9

 

I am going to go to Ben Ash with a book for lunch.  Just decided that.  It's kind of expensive but fuck it. 

 

Just did pullups 1-1-1-1-1, then 4 x (10 50# lunges, 10 50# bosu squats, 10 50# swings, 10 pushups).  I was supposed to do 5, but I was pretty wiped out, and it's NYE and I don't want to kill myself. 

 

Two observations.  One, the rush or buzz that comes from lifting weights, or at least the kind of Crossfitty activities that I think of as lifting weights, is a much more pleasurable feeling than the aftermath of a 45' hillclimb.  Two, after reading a chilling post on Modern Forager, I am concerned that I am not doing enough that is skiing / touring specific.  I have a month and a half left before my big trip and I don't feel that strong.  I need to step the fuck up. 

 

And, another observation.  I am still not eating right.  Not enough protein and not enough vegetables.  Not sure about Ben Ash, their soup is pretty shitty.  Maybe I'll get Korean instead.

WOD plus climb

Eating:  shrimp spring rolls from Il Duce

Drinking:  nothing

Listening:  Shinnai Shamisen

 

I did a seriously pussified version of the WOD - overhead press 60-70-80-90-100 (failed on the 100), one rep of each, push press 40-50-60-70-80, three reps of each.  No clue about jerking so I skipped the last third.  Then I did 45' with 4# weights.  I felt pretty desperate for the last 10 minutes. 

 

This workout was kind of a violation of resolution 3, in that the idea of doing 100 tuck squats on a bosu occured to me while I was climbing and I didn't do it.  I need to seize on that impulse more. 

 

Still listening to Pema Chodron.  It is wonderful but it's kind of annoying that I don't really seem to absorb anything. 

NYR

Eating: nothing

Drinking: coffee

Listening: a conference call

 

I'm back from the North and it's time for New Year's resolutions.  I have always sucked at this (making and keeping), but this blog is about (semi-)public commitment if nothing else.  Here goes, in no particular order.

 

1.  Spend less money.  Less impulse buying, less binge drinking, less aimless frittering.  No strategies here, although I note that ceding control over money to my wife is working so far, and that reading and listening to the stuff that I already have has cut back tremendously on my Amazon spending.  In fact, I feel like I have a pretty good handle on the buying impulse and the momentary good feeling rush that happens after I hit buy or when I see the box. 

 

2.  Meditate more (and be a better Buddhist).  Right now, it's ten minutes a night, unless I don't have space (which was my excuse chez mes parents) or in cases of extreme fatigue or drunkenness.  It's hard to see how I could extend that without pissing off my spouse, so maybe the answer is to add one ten-minute session during the day.  I have had some pretty good experiences meditating in the office.  As for "be a better Buddhist", for the present that means one thing: Talk, and think, less shit about other people.  It's a habit that reinforces separateness and leads in the wrong direction.  Listen to Pema Chodron and resist the temptation to criticize even when it's funny or gives rise to a sense of righteousness.  I guess that "continue the lifelong fight against distraction" would fall partly into this category and partly into #6.

 

3.  Exercise more and better.  Lunchtime is the answer, as far as I can tell.  Get co-workers to leave me alone and get to the gym.  I am running out of time before the Nelson trip and I need to make the most out of it.  Exercise better means, for now, more ski-specific and harder.  No more light workouts (although of course they are better than nothing). 

 

4.  Run a marathon.  This is pretty much the only specific resolution.  I want to run a marathon.  The NY marathon.  That means I need to run a lot and get plenty of other exercise.  I have been having mechanical problems with the feet / ankles and I think the solution, unfortunately, is more slow running and less sprinting.  For the time being, anyway. 

 

5.  Reach out.  Write thoughtful emails to good friends and take the time to see people and to listen to what they say.  Respond warmly to the stuff that people send me.  It's so easy to neglect a nice gesture. 

 

6.  Take care.  Focus on a piece of work while I'm doing it, and review it carefully before sending it out.  This applies to work work and to house work.  The impulse to put something down and look at something more interesting and, having done that, the impulse to then speed through the task and thereby do a shitty job both need to be identified and resisted. 

 

7.  Porn.  Obvious, but I feel pretty humiliated having to put this on the internet.  My last true bad habit.  No plans here, maybe just recognize when I am on the verge of giving in to it?

Progress

Eating: just had some chicken and vegetables from the caf

Drinking: water

Listening: Here Comes Sunshine

 

So, today was looking ambiguous in terms of busyness.  I had to write several harassing emails this morning, but then it looked like there was a window so I decided to go for it.  I got to the gym around 11 and hit the treadmill with the intention of going for 40 minutes.  After about a minute it occured to me to look for ankle weights.  Lo and behold, they have them!  So, I did a full 40 minutes, speeds between 2.6 and 2.9, heartrate on either side of 140, with 4 lbs on each foot!  It's really a lot like skinning, very slog-like. 

 

I was listening to Pema Chodron too.  I don't know how much of it I'll remember, though.  I meant to type out what she said, but I can only kind of remember the feel of it. 

snow run

On Saturday, I secured permission for a 30 minute run during one of the Little Monster's naps.  I hit the park (under about 1" of good heavy snow with about 1" of ice under that).  I stuck with the road until I got to the big downhill, where the temptation of the long staircase was too much.  I ran up that, then down through the trees and along a little logging road for a while.  It was just like being in Vermont, or Montreal.  I came out of the park on the Kensington side, ran up to 15th Street and went back in then out at 9th.  As I came up to the house, I noticed our neighbors loading bags off the stoop into their car.  Not wanting to be seen in public in the five fingers, I continued to 1st Street and then back and in.  Total time: 30 minutes on the nose.  Fun as hell. 

 

The five fingers are incredible in ice and snow.  In fact the only slight discomfort came from transitioning on and off the road, where the road salt slurry was.  That was wet enough to get in on the sides and highly uncomfortable, but not for long.  On the whole I took it easy and felt really good. 

Last Night

Didn't get to the gym pretty much all week, but when I got home last night the Wife graciously let me have 20 minutes to better myself.  I did 4 x (4 minutes stepup w/ water-filled backpack, 10 pushups with my feet on a chair, 10 overhead lifts (from the floor) of the backpack).  Felt pretty nice.  I can go harder though. 

Mal a la Tete

Eating:  a granny smith

Drinking:  some TGY brewed "pro", ie approximately 3 gm for 5 minutes

Listening:  again, nothing; typing that prompted me to put on Ernst Reijseger

 

Yesterday I got to the gym between an afternoon meeting and an evening training.  I listened to a Pema Chodron audiobook (actually a taped lecture from Naropa) about the Bodhisattva Way while spending 30 minutes hillclimbing.  This is kind of a breakthrough.  I often set out with the intention of doing something for 30 minutes but then get horribly bored after 15 minutes and bail after 20.  The recording was interesting and encouraging enough that I was able to persevere.  It felt pretty good although there was some weakness in my right knee. 

 

After that I still had a little more time so I did overhead press 1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1.  50, 60, 70, 80, 90, 90, 100, 100.  My form on the 100 was not the best, but I was definitely getting full overhead extension.  Next time I should hold it up there for a full breath.

 

I went out for a drink with PW last night and had two pints.  I felt fine on the train ride home, had a good meditation and everything, and woke up with a terrible headache.  It  might have been general dehydration (probably didn't drink enough h2o after the gym and I had tea and coffee after that) but whatever it is I feel like shit and have no interest in drinking anything more anytime soon. 

 

I am listening to Gary Snyder's recording of Kaz Tanahashi's translation of Dogen on my morning commute.  I have to say I am not getting a hell of a lot out of it.  I may try to just get through all three or whatever hours of it, but on the other hand I may not.  The thought of having to listen to the Mountains and Rivers Sutra fills me with anxiety. 

Brief Interlude

Eating: nuts and jerky

Drinking: Oriental Beauty

Listening: California Uber Alles on repeat

 

So.  This week is supposed to be the beginning of long (1 hr) cardio.  I need to get a book on tape.  The basic idea is cardio / CF / cardio / CF repeat.  I know, this is contra to the spirit of CF.  Too bad.  I am going to be climbing mountains in 2 months. 

 

Today I did 50 x box jump, 15 x pushups, 21 x deadlifts.  WOD from I think Friday.  Box jump was only about 8".  Should do more big stepups (can do those at home).  DL was 50# (easy).  Did not notice time. 

Sort Of Nasty Girls

Eating:  two apples

Drinking:  nothing

Listening:  rain on the window

 

I did a scaled-down version of the WOD (Nasty Girls).  3 x (50 40# squats, 5 pullups, 5 dips, 10 40# hang cleans).  It took me almost exactly 25'.  The squats were hard but I made it through without too much drama.  Weirdly they get easier to do, I just needed to take longer and longer breaks as I went on.  The pullups were hard as expected.  First 5 were one set, then I think 3, 2, then 1, 1, and 3 chinups, so kind of a cheat there, although I did lift my head past the bar under my own power.  The hang cleans were surprisingly challenging even at such a light weight, and presented a good chance to stretch out my twice-broken right wrist, which is obviously and significantly less flexible than my left. 

 

I then spent about 15 minutes in the sauna.  Longer than I had planned, and long enough to really feel it, and really feel the coolness of the air when I got out.  In sum: I feel incredibly good. 

Low Morale

Eating: some pistachios and some dried raspberries courtesey of staying here until 4 the other night

Drinking:  water

Listening:  nothing, because I am too apathetic to stand up, walk over to the other side of my office, and get my iPod out of the Redweld that I keep my shoes in

 

Today was a Crossfit rest day.  Crossfit Endurance asked for a 60 minute time trial.  When I read that, I thought: I'll do half.  By the time I had spent the greater part of the day spacing out in my office, that no longer seemed like such a good idea.  So, I did 20 minutes.  Note this is still the longest distance I've run in at least a month.  I managed 2.31 miles.  The Running Times time / distance calculator tells me that is an 8:39 pace, which would get me through a marathon in 4:25.  That is pretty slow, which would be fine if I had felt it to be easy, but I didn't, I thought it was awful, and my face was purple by the time I finished.  Another issue is that my ankles again felt pretty tight.  It seems pretty clear that I should be running again, and at a slower pace.  I need to be careful about technique.

 

I have not felt that great lately.  Part of the problem obviously has to do with working too late and lack of sleep, but I feel lethargic in general. 

Woo Hoo

Eating: just had a salad - forgot the name - from Chopt

Drinking: some water

Listening: nothing

 

I did a modified version of yesterday's WOD that I think I am going to call the 5 6 7 8's.  20 minutes of 5 backups, 6 pulldowns (in this case at 130#), 7 pushups and 8 situps.  The gym was crowded and I was intentionally taking it easy, so I only got 8 done.  I also subbed 3 pullups for the 6 pulldowns twice.  Otherwise it felt good.  Afterwards I sat in the sauna for probably 8 minutes and then did the cold water on the face and feet routine. 

 

I was feeling Friday's squat extravaganza all weekend.  At some point yesterday I considered going for a run but opted not to because I was still having trouble descending stairs.  Which is good, I think.  I don't want workouts to feel easy. 

quasi-WOD

Yesterday was Friday.  On Thursday night I had a cigarette.  On Friday I did the crossfit WOD, easier of course: 50 squats, 2 pulldowns, 40 squats, 4 pulldowns, 30 squats, 6 pulldowns, 20 squats, 8 pulldowns, 10 squats, 10 pulldowns.  Pulldowns were at 120# (should have been heavier) and squats were with a 40# bar.  Very hard.  Got it done.  Legs hurt today. 

WOD, kind of

Eating:  a chocolate-raspberry Clif

Drinking:  matcha

Listening:  AR running his mouth

 

Got out of work at 3 last night.

 

Gym.  Warmed up with 15 pushups, 20 situps, 10 backups.  7 x 1 pullup.  Supposed to be alactic, not sure if it worked.  5 x (50# lunges, started with 6 and worked up to 10, 50# swings x 10).  Did a makeup set of 10 lunges.  This was with 2 25# dumbbells held at my sides, not overhead.  Felt wonderful.  Managed to remember to cool off with some cold water at the end of the shower. 

 

Triumph of the Will

Eating:  just had some oily, but meat-heavy, Persian food

Drinking:  had some post-exercise matcha and now drinking water

Listening:  none other than Les Grands Gong Kebyar des Annees 60

 

Had a very successful trip to the gym.  We are busy now - RH is in the office again - so I had to kind of make my case for being able to leave and then ask nicely.  I warmed up with: 15 pushups (one set; I might be able to do 20, but just; all my sets of five may not be paying off as much as I would like); 20 situps (bench was sloped a bit; no great effort; should try with a weight); 10 back extensions (just going down to the point where I can feel my back begin to curve; my hamstrings are so fucking tight); 10 squats (I have terrible form, I can kind of feel myself twist as I come up); 3, 2 pullups (I am a pussy for not doing more); 5 dips (I am a pussy for not doing more).  Then I hit the tilted treadmill for 20' at 3.5 mph.  This is where the Triumph of the Will part comes in.  I did not enjoy this.  The music in the gym was loud enough that I could hear it over what I was listening to on the iPod.  3.5 is faster than I usually do.  I am stressed about work.  I was very distracted, thinking a lot about MS, which is a bizarre situation.  But, I stuck it out to the bitter end.  Then I did the Crossfit WOD (might be the WOD for yesterday, can't remember): overhead presses 1-1-1-1-1-1-1.  I started out by doing 10 x 30#, then 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 80.  Wait, that's only six.  I don't think I did a third 80.  Fuck.  Anyway, it felt pretty good.  The hard part about doing the 80 was the catch.  I tried to do it pretty smoothly but it's not easy. 

 

I read something somewhere recently about cold water therapy.  This is something of which I've always had an easy time understanding the circulatory benefits and that I've always imagined myself doing.  I saw a picture of Morihei Ueshiba meditating in an ice-cold mountain waterfall and thought, I want to do that.  I see people swimming in the ice and think it looks fun.  The problem is, lately, like for the past couple years, I have turned into a total pussy about cold water.  It takes me forever to get my head under in Metis, and even Florida in November had me retreating when the water got above my knees.  Unacceptable.  So, I've started the practice of splashing my face with straight cold water ten times at the end of each shower.  I also let the cold water run on each foot and ankle for a good ten seconds.  This is not much but I'll build myself up by doing it. 

 

What else?  Not much.  Looking forward to working out tomorrow.  The meeting is at 10:30 so if I get out of here at a reasonable hour I might be able to get some exercise in first thing in the morning. 

Belated Updating

On Thursday (Thanksgiving) I did a warmup of ten pushups, 20 situps, and some lunges.  I think.  Need to be more systematic about the warmups.  Then I did a 20' round of 10 squats, 5 pushups, 6 windmill toe-touches (three per side) and 5 waist to overhead presses of our heavy-ass food processor.  It felt very good, quite invigorating, and I wasn't too burned out at then end.  I think I did 12 or 13 rounds, but it may have been 14. 

On Saturday I did a 15 pushup (one go!), 20 situp warmup and then a 4, 2 run in the park.  I started out very fast and feeling really good, but I must have been slapping because my left ankle is like it's in a cast now.  No good.  I also ran out of breath a couple times, hated the hills, and generally felt like a cripple.  I started to suspect that the tendons on the sole of my left foot are actually too loose and don't absorb enough.  Not fun. 

 

Yesterday after the Monster went to dreamland the Wife did her short pilates session so I took the 13 minutes that afforded me and did circuits of 5 pushups with feet on a chair, ten stepups (2 steps on our staircase, 5/side) and 10 overheads of the Cusinart.  Felt pretty good.  I am freaked out by the bad run though. 

One Step More And You Die

Eating:  cocoa mole Larabar and green apple

Drinking: water

Listening: Needles In The Camel's Eye

 

Another great trip to the gym.  I did a repeat of one of the cardio workouts I did in FL, 4 x (4:00 on, 2:00 off).  Rest pace was 20:00/mi, and running pace was a blistering (for me) 7:30/mi, except for the second section which was 7:00/mi.  Not bad, if I do say so myself.  I felt pretty relaxed throughout, except right at the end, where I thought I was going to die.  Otherwise it felt like a nice trot, totally within the realm of the possible.  Checked my hr after 2, 3 and 4 and it was over 160 each time.  Form seemed ok too, quick little steps.  I am trying to focus on moving my strike zone back, but it's not easy.  No slapping or pounding though.  And, just fast enough - any faster and I would have had to bail around 3:00 on the last repeat. 

 

So, in other news, I got my first comment yesterday.  Frankly I am amazed by this.  I don't use my real name, I don't link to much else, and I didn't really ever imagine that anyone would actually read this.  It's public only because it's the kind of thing that I would be entertained to stumble upon, and because its publicness keeps me honest and motivated.  The comment was from Drew Baye, and what a comment it was.  It's not something I often think about, how easy it is to be encouraging to someone and how much it can mean to the person you're encouraging.  Anyway, it was very motivating for me, and especially nice in light of the fact that I wasn't totally positive about his blog (I guess because it seemed too weightlifting-centric).  I hereby retract that.  This post in particular is amazing, and right on the money.  Now that I'm stronger than I used to be, I find myself using using it a lot - dragging my ass up four flights of stairs after a long day at work, for instance.  Who knows when I might really need it?

Another Good Decision

I have been full of good decisions lately.

 

Eating:  some pecans, almonds and hazelnuts that I brought from home, and some fancy chocolate with coconut in it
Drinking:  water, and I am making some mystery pu'er

Listening:  "Andy Warhol"

 

Tried something I read on Drew Baye's probably-not-worth-regularly-reading blog, modified because I am soft, of course.  (5 120# pulldowns, 5 pushups, 10 bosu squats) x 20 minutes.  I managed to do 11 reps!  Quite a feeling of accomplishment.  I feel like a million bucks.  I could easily do the same routine with just one or two actual pullups, if I ever find myself near an unclaimed pullup bar (the pullup bars at the gym are part of the cable machine, and there are always a million people using those).  Still can't believe I did 55 pushups and 110 squats.  Should also mention that I have been eating like a king lately.  Went to Nougatine with my mentee yesterday and had foie gras and skate, and today I'm going to Wu Liang Ye with MC, ML, BK and some friend of BK's. 

Yesterday

I ran the loop again.  I didn't feel slow, but sort of out of breath a lot, and I did the whole thing in exactly 30', which if I'm not mistaken is about two minutes slower than last time.  I did show some tenacity, passing one guy that had passed me and turning it on for the hill.  I would like to be a lot faster though. 

 

One possible cause is that I got ultra drunk and smoked one of Belov's cigarettes on Friday.  So, I can't exactly complain.

Another Tabata

Eating: some chocolate

Drinking: 2005 LBZ

Listening: Grant Green

 

Went to the gym at lunchtime.  BK and I stood on bosus and tossed a 10# medicine ball back and forth for a while.  Then he went to spin, and I did a warmup: 10 pushups, 10 situps with 10# ball, 10 back situps, 5, 5 dips, 5, 5 150# pulldowns (close grip), 10 jump squats ... I don't think I'm forgetting anything.  Then I did a hillclimb tabata - 15 degrees and 10 minute miles.  I felt like I was going to die, yes, but I finished and I didn't feel as close to puking as I did last time.  Might try a faster speed the next time this one rolls around.  I kind of collapsed at the end, then took a sauna for about 10 minutes, which felt really good. 

Slow End to a Slow Day

Eating: shitty green apple

Drinking: nothing

Listening: Les Grands Gong Kebyar des Annees Soixante

 

Back from the gym.  Warmup: 10 pushups, 10 situps, 10 back extensions, 10 jump squats, 10 jump lunges, 10 pullups (3 pu 3 cu 2 pu 2 cu), 10 (5, 5) dips.  5 x [10 45# deadlifts, 10 box jumps], 5 x [5 20# oh press / side, 10 40# bosu squats].

 

Well, that felt pretty good.  I pretty much just went down there and banged it out.  The rough patches were the pullups and the squats - again, not so much the weight as the incredible effort it takes to stay upright.  When something is that hard, it must be doing something good. 

 

Chinese class was good today too.  I asked him to bring some shorter articles, and he came back with one about TWC and two about Coke buying Huiyuan.  I sight-read them and did pretty well.  I think I might read NH's article on the way home. 

 

Had to go on his Facebook page to find the article.  Damn that guy is a player. 

Back in New York City

I hardly know where to begin.  Just spent five days in AMI.  I exercised a fair amount.  First day there (Friday) I did 4 x 400m (more or less) runs with 20 sqauts and 20 side-to-sides after each.  One other day I ran 3.3 miles in 30 minutes, and another day I did 3 x (200m, 400m, 600m) except I didn't finish that one.  Finally, yesterday I did 4 x 4 minutes on, 2 minutes off.  Not enough strength, obviously!  And not enough stretching. 

First Tabata

Eating: Chop't harvest cobb, jesus christ

Drinking: nothing

Listening: Penguin Cafe

 

Pullups 2 and dips 3 to exhaustion (5 sets).  2 x 10 jump lunges (should have been 3 x 10).  5 x (5 overhead press 20# / side, 10 bosu squats with 2 20# dumbbells).  This last was interesting because it is so much harder to do a squat with dumbbells balanced on the shoulders.  Again, I don't think I am close to maxing out my leg strength, so I should be using a bar at least some of the time, but this was significantly more difficult both in terms of balance and effort.  It reminded me of what Twight said - if your arms are too weak, your core has to take over.  Very hard, just barely finished.  And, the main event: hillclimb Tabata.  I warmed up with a little flat walking and the about 2' at 3.0 mph, then ramped up to a 9 minute mile pace.  I wanted to do 8 x 20"/10", but five and a half was more than enough.  I felt like I was going to die.  It was the exact psychological sensation I get when I realize that I have completely overdosed on alcohol.  I staggered around thinking I was going to puke for a bit, and then took a shower, which made me feel much better.  If I'm gymless (for instance in sunny Florida) I could do this with jump squats. 

 

I need to deadlift.  Should set up an appointment with a trainer. 

 

I told the main person on my other deal (AH) to more or less leave me alone yesterday.  It was undoubtedly a bad career move, but it has made me feel so much better about my job.  I worked to 12:30 last night and didn't even think twice about it. 

First-ever WOD

Eating: Key Lime Larabar

Drinking: water, and some 1999 XZH Meng Sa that has been in the pot all day

Listening: Musique Pour Le Gong Gede

 

Well, I finally did a WOD, albeit a watered-down one.  3 x (800m (actually .4 mi) at 6:58/mile, 20 situps with feet pinned, 10 back situps).  The situps and back situps were supposed to be 50 each - yeah right.  My other plan was to do the endurance WOD, basically a hill-climb tabata, if I didn't feel like puking after the main event.  I don't know that I felt like puking, but I didn't feel like having a coronary event, so I skipped it.  I mean, my face was purple.  And, I feel like Superman, which is good because work has really, really been getting me down lately. 

 

Something about that kind of interval training makes it the perfect antidote to work-related drudgery.  Going down to the gym and doing 20 minutes of hillclimb is like sitting at my desk and doing 20 minutes of work - I can get through it, but I wouldn't call it fun.  I would prefer to be in a more reactive setting, and that's what today's workout was. 

Yet Another God Damned Saturday in the God Damned Office

Eating: nothing at the moment - had corned beef on rye at Ben Ash for lunch

Drinking: Oriental Beauty from TM

Listening: Esquisses Hebraiques

 

So, here I am, in the fucking office once again.  It's getting old.

 

This morning, I did a modified BG.  5 x (8 squats, 3 jumps, 5 situps) (I need to get something that is higher and sturdier to jump on), 5 x (1' step-up (to chair this time), 30" tuck, 30" rest).  Then, as this all took place at 8, I broke off, as the Wife was worried any jumping about waking up the nice people that live downstairs.  I resumed around 9, and did 5 x (10 side-to-side, 3 pushups), 2 x (10 jump lunges, 10 jump squats).  The jump squats are fucking murder.  I need to start in on heavier weights too, although I've hardly maxed out what I can do with bodyweight. 

You Can Taste The Bright Lights But You Won't Get Them For Free

Eating: yet another Harvest Cobb

Drinking: making some Taiwanese oolong

Listening: Schubert

 

20' hill climb, 3 rounds of 3 pullups (actually two rounds were chinups) and 5 knee lifts, 50 bosu tucks, 5 dips, 5 rounds of 5/side 15# overhead and 5 standing rows (40#) plus an extra ten standing rows on a balance board, 15-breath tuck on the balance board ... I feel like I'm forgetting something.  A very good workout.  I went down there unmotivated, shinsplinty, and kind of lethargic, and I ended up doing more than was on the routing.

 

A thought about squats.  They are getting easy, and it's time to max out the reps completely each time and/or to start adding weight.  I still found the jump squats murderously hard so maybe those should figure in more heavily. 

 

Also, my shin splints are pretty bad (they certainly kept me from running today, or would have if work hadn't) but walking uphill doesn't bother them at all.  I also hit the hot tub and did some ankle turns in there, which was nice.  That super creepy gay Italian guy was hanging around, which kind of spoiled the experience.

 

I'm reading Mind of Clover now.  I bought it based solely on the title - I never would have imagined being interested in a book on ethics - but I am finding it quite profound. 

Inglorious

Eating: some Indian food, soon
Drinking: water (had some more puer before)
Listening: nothing, because the monster is sleeping

Just did my sissy version of Bustin' Glory.  5 x (8 air squats, 3 precision box jumps, 5 situps), 5 x (10 side-to-side jumps, 3 pushups) 1 x (10 jump lunges, 10 jump squats).  Whew.  Doesn't look like much when you write it down.  The jump squats were fucking evil.  Pure evil.  I could just barely finish the tenth. 

Just occurred to me that side-to-side jumps were really the only think I ever liked about dryland training.  That and the smell of fall in the air. 

I Never Went South

Eating: just had a banana

Drinking: water

Listening: Ligeti

 

Went running last night, 4 x 4 block sprints.  Fucking awful.  I could feel the outline of my lungs in my chest, and I burned out at the two-block point each time.  This morning I have mild shin splints, which probably means that I was slapping my feet.  No idea what to do about that. 

 

I'm going to do the Bustin' Glory again tonight.  The pussy version, of course, but I do plan to put my boots on for the step-up.  I also want to make sure I have enough in reserve to do the blasters.

 

Obsessed with skiing.  I found a company that does sail/ski tours to Iceland and I am considering actually trying to talk the boss into letting me go. 

Nothing to Report

Eating: just had bagel and lox, apple

Drinking: water

Listening: GOCJ 1 (yesterday was kebyar day and today is Java day)

 

So last night, before meditating for the first time in a week, I decided to do pushups 9 11 8 8, which was the same set I had tried and failed to do as part of a combo, crossfit-type workout last week.  I got six of the first eight done and gave up.  My arms did not feel strong.  I don't totally understand this.  The run yesterday went very well.  I hadn't had any caffeine, I had been sitting at my desk all day, and dinner was kind of heavy, but I still don't understand.  So, I think I'm going to once again drop back a week.

 

Meditation last night (only ten minutes) was pretty awful.  I fidgeted a lot and checked the time once (before throwing the watch over my shoulder).  I have been feeling the lack of meditation lately, so I think it's time to bring it back.  I just did five minutes sitting at my desk and feel pretty good about that.  Probably shouldn't be keeping score ... I was also just looking at the Brooklyn Zen Center website (very close by). 

Another Sunday Run

Eating: had some cereal

Drinking: water, had some coffee

Listening: Grayfolded

 

Ran the loop this morning.  Felt great and even passed a bunch of people.  My legs feel kind of tight and I am looking forward to taking it easy tomorrow and maybe doing some stretching. 

 

I am in the office again, and really in no mood to be here.  I have a lot to do so I hope I can focus. 

 

Getting Serious About Skiing

Eating: nothing yet today
Drinking: 1994 Menghai
Listening: nothing

Just did a shortened, modified version of this.  5 x (8 air squats, 3 box jumps (onto a little stool), 5/side x 2 crunches), 3 x 20 side to side jumps with a leg stretch in between, 3 x (1' stepups (barefoot), 30" tuck, 30" rest).  Tucks are hard.  Side-to-sides are fun.  I am ready for breakfast.  Going to make some bread and do some hip stretches. 

That Achy Lung Feeling

Eating: had some cake and a Larabar at work
Drinking: water
Listening: nothing

Just did pushups 9 11 8 8, no problem (a little tired, insulin?) and the xfit endurance WOD, 4 (should have been 6) x 2' sprints, with 1' breaks.  I feel kind of barfy.

Mirror Ashes

Eating: a Lara bar, having just eaten one of those natural Clif bars

Drinking: Nothing, but I sure should be drinking some water

Listening: Grayfolded

 

At the gym: pulldowns 3 4 2 3, OH barbells (only 10 pounds) / pushups 9 11 8 8 (although I collapsed after 4 pushups on the second-to-last set and did not do the last; lame), knee lifts 10, deadlifts / bosu squats 9 11 8 8 (40 pound bar), crunches 10 / side.  I warmed up by rowing 5 minutes (1098m).

 

I have a new Chinese teacher, whose first act was to assign me a 15 page article, which I haven't read yet.  Ugh.  Off to a good start. 

Ca Commence

Eating: just had some cereal
Drinking: water, but not enough
Listening: La Femme d'Argent

Just ran the Prospect Park loop in exactly 30 minutes. That is three minutes faster than last time, a nine-minute pace. I felt good. I went quite a bit faster at the beginning, then my breathing got a little ragged and I slowed down. Also, it was cold as hell.

Another thing - my calves are very sore. I read somewhere (maybe Vancouver Barefoot) that this would happen, and it did.

Trois Pistoles

Eating: going to have some pot au feu that I fucked up last Sunday
Drinking: water (see below)
Listening: Kebyar

Just did 3 x pistols / side, 3 x pushups, 5 x squats, 10 x single-arm overhead presses / side holding my Sigg (filled up, of course), repeated over 10 minutes.  I feel quite buzzed.  Great, actually.  This is basically a super-pussy version of a Crossfit routine, and also fits with a running program I found (will post later) where Friday is the strength day and Sunday the long run (which in my case will just be 3.3). 

My right knee felt a little crunchy when I went too deep on the pistols. 

I think the whole routine could have been either harder or longer or both, too.  I didn't feel at all sore from the gym yesterday, and that's kind of a sign that it wasn't hard enough.  Well, live and learn. 

Back to the publishing agreement!

Timeless

Eating: just had pulled pork at Ted's

Drinking: just had a Boddington's at Ted's

Listening: My Favorite Things

 

No time to discuss, but I just did 20' climb (3.2 and 3.3), pulldowns 2 3 2 2, pushups on ball 8 10 7 7, lunges 12/side, one-leg squats 10/side, knee curls 12, bosu squats with bar 20 (more like 2 x 10), deadlift bar 10, standing row 10, overhead press 10.  This last was horribly hard and I was sloppy around number 8. 

A Test

Listening: Long Island Wildin'

Eating: another Chop't salad

Drinking: bad old oolong and water

 

Just got back from the gym.  I hill-climbed for only ten minutes, and then ran at a slightly under eight minute pace.  I had planned to do that for a mile, but I was pretty kicked after two minutes and behind schedule, so I stopped.  I failed to hit the goal in both pulldowns (4, 4) and pushups (10, 12, 3), did ten one-leg squats each leg (very hard, esp on left), ten deadlifts, ten standing rows and ten overhead presses.  The last were very hard.  I felt weak and tired.  The best thing I can say about this episode is it's better than not going to the gym. 

 

Meditated for 19 minutes last night.  It went pretty well.  I looked at the time twice, then tossed the watch over my shoulder.  I don't know why I never thought of that before.  Generally today I'm feeling pretty alert and organized.  I've moved the computer so that passerby can see my screen, which is a powerful disincentive to fucking around. 

A Sunny Day in the Office

Eating: nothing
Drinking: water
Listening: Music of the Gamelan Gong Kebyar

I am on a real Balinese music kick these last couple days. Tenzer came off the shelf while my parents were here, I think because I wanted to show my dad what a gamelan looked like, and since then I've been going through my gong kebyar and gong gede CDs and listening to the new kingklik / rindik CD I just bought.

I didn't get as much done yesterday as I wanted to, but that's how it goes. I was reasonably focused all day, but it wasn't enough. I did manage to meditate. After a while I succumbed to the temptation to look at the watch, and it said eight minutes. Not bad, it had felt like about ten that I had been sitting there. After a while I looked again (lame). It said 12. I had hit stopwatch instead of timer. If I was better at this shit, I would have just sat there all night.

The alarm went off at 6:30 this morning, but I didn't get out of bed until 7:15, which is still not bad. I ran the 3.3 mile loop in the park, mixing it up a bit by hitting the dirt trail that runs next to it for maybe a quarter of the way. I did it in almost exactly 33 minutes, so about a ten-minute pace - not bad, but room for improvement. My left ankle did feel a little tight, although I relaxed it and did ten circles with my hand before running. I started out feeling groggy, with a headache, but that was all gone after about a mile and I felt fine the rest of the way (but did not get into that state where I feel like I can run forever). Some guy passed me, easily, before the hill and I cranked on the uphill so well that I almost caught him. Almost, but not quite. My breathing was getting pretty ragged too, so I was probably going max speed. I feel great now, although my quads are burning from yesterday.

I had hoped to hit the gym today too, but seeing as it's quarter to 11 and I haven't done anything, that may have to wait until tomorrow.

The Solitary Life

Eating: some old roast chicken and a salad of mixed microgreens from the Greenmarket.

Listening: Musique pour la Gong Gede

Drinking: water, not enough

So, I have about ten hours worth of work and maybe five hours to do it in?  Something like that.  Obviously, an all-nighter is out of the question.  Anyway, I have so much work that the Wife and the Baby have gone to the In-Laws for the night.  I am being less productive than I should be, but more productive than I might be expected to be or than I would have been a year ago.  The delights of the internet notwithstanding.  

I had a very, very good meditation last night.  The only analogy I can make is to balancing on a rope, or maybe riding a bike.  The sensation was sort of like using my breath to pull in a line, but combined with a sense of careful balance.  

Being that I'm here alone, I got some good exercising done today.  Pushups 9 11 8 8 (week two of 100), crossover situps just ten per side, and then a Twight workout where I did 60 squats (20-20-20 first round, 6 of 10 second round) and ran 800m at what felt to me like a eight-minute pace.  It felt good.  There is still (still) some tightness in my left ankle that I don't like.  At worst it feels like I'm peglegging, kind of poling myself along.  Not a good feeling, but I'm not really doing anything about it either.  

Tomorrow morning I plan to do the park early, if I can get up early that is.  I think just the three-mile loop, but who knows, maybe I'll feel really energetic.  

back at it

Eating: coconut Larabar
Drinking: nothing
Listening: Rocks Off

Finally made it back to the gym. I only managed to do a 20' climb and 2' of running at an 8 minute pace before I was called back to the office, though. Still, it felt great to stretch out a bit. Back on the wagon!

Another dream and no exercise.

Eating: just had half a Clif bar and going to Insieme for an interview lunch
Drinking: nothing
Listening: some guzheng

We just had another TAP meeting. I am finally getting some summaries done but not enough, and I told YC I'd send them to her tomorrow. On top of that I am probably going to have to turn the PSA tonight.

I had a funny dream last night, that we went en famille to Beijing and turned out to be staying in the same nice but dilapidated hotel as ZA and her husband and kid, and some of their friends. Her husband (who in the dream was an English guy) was kind of a dink, but otherwise the dream left me with a pretty good feeling. I love getting to dream about the Little Monster, it makes me so happy.

No exercise happening today, but I am going to do the desk stretches now.

OTSC

Eating: just had half a Clif bar (pumpkin flavor?) and about to go to OT supper club
Drinking: some kind of gushu chawang from I think 06, it is very very good
Listening: Whispers, Hymns and a Murmur

Yesterday (Rosh Hashanah) I ran 2.3 miles with the little rodent. We ran into one of the wife's mommyfriends but I don't think she noticed the Five Fingers.

Was just at the gym. Treadmill only. 30' 3.2 at 15, then I ran for 2' at 7.5 mph (8 minute miles). I felt like I was made out of lead and on the verge of asphyxiation during the climb. It was really miserable from a psychological point of view. No energy (or time for that matter) to do any pushups.

RH was good. We had the whole team (incl. CZ) over for dinner. The brisket was ... beyond. And I must say my harira was very good too. The FIL completely behaved himself. I mean, he outshone himself. I wouldn't have thought ever that he had it in him to be so nice. The BIL in contrast is being a douche, but it's kind of easy to see why - he feels generally threatened (fear and anger are the primary motivators of most minds) and he's freaking out over being a dad.

I had this odd dream where I was a passenger in my own car, and it was being driven, through a hillier, snow-covered dream version of VT, by JB. Eventually I kicked him out of the driver's seat and drove myself (terrified, of course, that I would make a mistake). There was something to do with a gathering at his property too. Also, I made MM cry, bitterly, but I don't recall how. I wouldn't have described myself as being attracted to her, but her appearance in my dream makes me think otherwise, maybe. I mean, I've always entertained the fantasy of fucking her and thereby cuckolding JB, but something about this dream makes me think that I might in fact be actually interested in her for her own sake.

New Year

Eating: I had some cereal in the caf
Drinking: nothing
Listening: Satie

I have been here for an hour and a half, but I don't have much to show for it. I had an insane weekend, with the parents visiting and lots of cooking to do for the Rosh Hashanah dinner we are hosting. I did manage to run the whole Prospect Park loop yesterday (3.3 miles) but that was the only exercise that happened. I am today surprisingly sore from the experience - it's so important to stretch, and I haven't been doing it regularly. Another interesting thing is that I feel really weak in the legs, which shouldn't be the case. I can't remember if I walked up the stairs for food or not.

Yesterday I worked like a goddamned machine, though. I just sat down and gave 'er. My mom was around (watching the LM - the others had gone to the store) and I expected her to talk too much and make it impossible to get anything done, but she did just the opposite. I clearly need to set up some kind of strategy with SWMBO whereby she doesn't call out to me every three minutes about some irrelevant task she needs me to do when I am working. Another thing is that my mom didn't resent the fact that I was working instead of helping her with the dishes.

My dream last night included a vision of Westmount with another mountain behind it, quite tall and steep and also covered with houses, so close that if felt like I could touch it, but with a deep valley between me and it. I was surprised that it was there - I had never noticed it after all those years in Montreal - but I felt like it was something I had dreamed about before.

I Still Got It

Eating: yet another Chop't salad
Drinking: agua
Listening: Serge G, nuit d'octobre

Just got back from the gym, where I walked 30' at 3.2 (15 incline, of course) and did pushups (10 8 6 6) with my feet on the extra large ball. The pushups felt good, and I went to pretty much the point of exhaustion. A little annoyed to be in some kind of Groundhog Day situation w/r/t pushups - permanently stuck on the last day of the 100 pushups program. Oh well. I felt strong.

I am having weird feelings in the bottom of my foot, specifically in the big toe part of the ball of my left foot. Still very worried about pronation. I need to remember to keep it nice and slow for now. I just found this stretching program, which is great, but I need to actually do it, and that is not going to be easy. Of course, nothing is easy.

I am finally reading the Vimalakirti sutra (the Thurman translation, from Tibetan, which is supposedly a truer version than Xuantang or Kumarijiva) and I have to say I find the discursive Indian sutra style very annoying. Why is it annoying? It is annoying because it is repetitive. Why is it repetitive? It is repetitive because even if the bhagavan repeated the dharma more times than there are grains of sand in all the jewel-encrusted universes of the trillion brahmas and indras, some people would still totally miss the point. God, I don't even have the energy to diss this book. I need caffeine. I don't have any water here, so it becomes a production. BK has an espresso machine but he has other shit that he needs to do. Oh well.

Back from the Desert

Eating: tilapia with 'wild' (oyster) mushrooms and Israeli couscous from the caf
Listening: Yagi Michiyo
Drinking: last of the Kunming 98

So, back from Sedona and the GC. The wedding was wonderful. I walked a lot, ran once, did not meditate, and did no work. The hammer is about to fall on the China thing - I have to produce today. I ran/walked exclusively in the FFs, and they were great, even on the sharp rocks in Sedona. The whole experience made me want to run ten miles a day. The GC was especially inspiring. We took the Little Monster down to mile 1.5 on the Bright Angel trail. The walk back up was a snap, I think the whole thing took us about 2.5 hrs. In retrospect we could have gone farther. The LM was a dream for the whole trip, but especially on the hikes - she cooed or slept pretty much the entire time. Hiking with a kid is the best, everyone is so nice to you.

In the realm of interpersonal relationships, I had a great time. JB did not come to the rehearsal dinner and was semi-isolated at the wedding. I didn't speak to him once. I had some really fun times hanging out with AS and PP without him, and we also got to see the Newlyweds at their place after the wedding, which come to think of it was the highlight of the wedding for me (that and getting so much time with the LM).

The House is on Fire

Eating: Harvest Cobb from Chop't
Drinking: making some B-grade pu'er
Listening: EK's Asa Tru

I got home last night in time to spend some wonderful QT with the Little Gorilla. We put her in the Kelty backpack that we got this weekend and she had a blast playing with the straps and my head and just generally enjoying the view. While my Better Half was nursing her, I went for a run in the FFs. Just down to GAP and back, about one mile. They felt great. They are so light that I hardly notice them, and they don't flap around like the aquasocks. I think I am doing a pretty good midfoot landing too. Really, really psyched to run in Sedona.

Made it to the gym again today. I did 5 minutes hard on the erg, then 2 x 20 squats w/ bar on the bosu, then 2 x 10 deadlift to standing row to overhead press, then an agonizing 10 lunges per side with 25# barbells (I think I was supposed to do 2 x 15 - ha), then pushups on the ball 9 8 6 4, which felt good like a motherfucker, then cross-crunches, 10 per side. This is more or less based on some Outside crap that I read yesterday slash Gym Jones. Anyway it was - fuck I forgot my steeping tea. Mmm, paint thinner. Anyway it was a great workout and I feel great right now. Weights is a funny thing. Before zen came into my life, I don't think I really got the core concept, which is that you have to repeat something many, many times before you get better at it. Which is the core concept to life in general, I think.

I meditated for 18' last night, which felt pretty good. I had kind of slacked on meditating over the weekend. I only managed 5' Sunday night, because I was so tired. Not sure if the foreboding / anxiety Sunday and Monday is from not meditating, from drinking too much, from not working enough, or from the janjaweed. One thing about that though, it made me into a GT animal.

And, work. The BH is worried about my job, and I suppose she should be, because it's the apocalypse, but life will go on with or without my job, and I have been working pretty hard. My focus has generally been better than it was in Tax, but it could still improve.

Daihatsu weekend; RIP DFW

Eating: just had some leftover pot-au-feu
Drinking: water
Listening: nothing, because I left my iPod at home

All told I had a fun weekend, although my overall anxiety level is rising. We had S and M over for brunch on Saturday, and T and P (and J) over on Sunday. JB was having his housewarming party Saturday night but I had no interest in that, so SM came back over and he and The Wife went together. When they got back, SM and I played like three hours of Gran Turismo, which was incredibly fun. One of the really fun things about it is: I don't suck at it.

Being home while my woman and one of my best friends went to my enemy's house for a party was clarifying. When she came back I really appreciated her presence and I think I was much nicer to her on Sunday as a result. Another thing that contributed to some kind of bittersweetness was that I listened to 'Jugband Blues' a couple times over the weekend. Poor Syd, and what a great song.

I made it to the gym today, but didn't do so well - only 20 minutes on the treadmill (3.1, 15) and pulldowns 4 3 3 2. No iPod, and CNBC was pretty scary, plus just not feeling that energetic - still a little sick maybe and not enough sleep. Also this creepy Italian guy that I spoke to once or twice was loitering around while I was doing the pulldowns. It's really weird being checked out - I feel sorry for the girl I was (mainly unconsciously) staring at on the subway this morning.

I was pretty sad to learn that DFW killed himself. Always thought we were going to hear more from him.

OK, that's enough for now. Got some indemnification provisions to review.

FIF

I just did the Twight easy (only 60 squats) with my FFs on.  I got some weird looks, I think; I was trying not to notice.  The running part was great, though.  They are better than aquasocks for sure.  The squats were hell.  I don't know if it's being sick or what but it took me forever to get out of bed this morning and ten squats felt like more than enough.  

Last night was fun.  I got home pretty early, and we hung out with La Monstrita (who was in a great mood), then made dinner (arroz de polvo and artichokes) and watched a bunch of TV.  I got pretty baked about halfway through the cooking process, and I have to say that made America's Toughest Jobs a lot more interesting, and the first twenty minutes of Scrubs (right up to the moral lesson) a lot funnier.  I had never seen ATJ before.  They were panning for gold in Alaska, and when I turned it on they were showing some of the contestants calling their families by satellite phone.  The mother of one of the contestants had cancer, and that took me right back.  

Just thinking about KK.  It's funny, his talk of being worse (ie. more depressed) in the morning / daytime didn't make any sense to me when he said it, but of course I've always been a bit like that myself.  In college and law school, for instance, I would routinely set my alarm for 8, turn it off, and sleep until 10, and hate myself for it.  That's why I need a job - it gives some structure to the first four hours of the day.  

I read RJ's dissertation proposal (or anyway most of it) on the train home yesterday.  I was delighted to find that it is really fantastic, a serious and thoughtful proposal.  For some reason I expected a lot more jargon and humanitiesspeak than was in there.  I need to remember to call her and talk to her about it.  

Did not meditate last night.  I was too tired and semi-drunk by the time all the cleanup was done, and I just wanted to go to bed.  I read two Bowles stories (The Circular Valley and The Delicate Prey) and both of them creeped me out.

Just did pushups 10 8 6 4, found them pretty easy.  

Updates

Let's see ... I had Indian food for dinner last night, and Menchanko-Tei for lunch.  I am feeling less sick but still not 100%.  At work today I was fairly disciplined, not my best but not my worst.  

I just got a pair of Vibram Five Fingers, black KSOs.  The Wife thinks they are unspeakably ugly.  The plan was to run in them this aft but it is cold and pouring rain, so so much for that.  The right one doesn't fit so well, what with my trashed big toe, but I am still very very excited to try them out tomorrow.

chomp chomp

Eating: a Harvest Cobb from Chop't
Drinking: water, I guess
Listening: I Am The Upsetter; On The Wings Of The Haoma

Just back from the gym. I did 21', 15 climb at 3.0mph. Just right for being sick. 150# pulldowns 4 3 3 2, pushups 10 8 8 5. Felt really, really good. I was right at the edge of exhaustion for the last pushup.

It turns out that the person that I thought was RM at chez MR yesterday was, in fact, RM. AR told me he ran into her over the phone, so I Facebooked her and we're having coffee this afternoon. Had a good talk with AR. He underscored the importance of being civil to the Wife's dad. Which I guess is good advice, but putting it into practice is not going to be easy.

Another thing from the gym - I weighed myself, and I'm 190#. I was thinking 186 would be nice, because that's what I weighed in college.

On a new matter with DM and JS, who I'm kind of afraid of. It sounds like an interesting project though.

Stasis

Eating: yesterday lunch, tandoori chicken from the caf; yesterday dinner, a bunch of cookies and a Larabar at the CLE, then two pieces of quiche when I got home; today breakfast, three soft-cooked eggs and an English muffin
Drinking: just finished 1998 Kunming iron cake that I left overnight, which I didn't notice as I was drinking; the caffeine is nice though
Listening: Tonight's the Night (yes it is) this morning; Can You Get To That now
Reading: Roden last night, Joko on attention on the train

So, I am kind of feeling shitty right now. Yesterday when I woke up I had the pressure and ache that indicates the beginning of an ear infection, and this morning I felt distinctly phlegmy, so I took three horse pills and put a bunch more in a ziplock. I don't feel so bad now. I am going to do a (shorter, slower) hillclimb, pushups, pulldowns etc today anyway and spend some time in the sauna to clear out my lungs a bit, I think.

The CLE was pretty interesting, all about the various ethics traps relating to corporate investigations. I had some experience with that in tax, and of course I am around litigators all the time, so I was able to follow somewhat. The most interesting thing about it was that a very, very attractive associate at DPW sat next to me. She had this very direct engaging manner and kept engaging me in small talk. I caught her name as we were checking out and was able to e-stalk her in about three seconds this morning - she's married to some hedge fund analyst, which i could have guessed from the $25k of diamonds on her left hand. I had to suppress the instinct to ask her to the Algonquin for a drink. I told la Femme about it in the hopes that it would make her want to sleep with me; no such luck.

The Joko book gets more and more interesting. I feel like I'm getting somewhere in terms of understanding the emotional motivations for my actions. Meditation last night (still 17 minutes) was very hard. The urge to fidget was very, very strong, and at one point I was breathing very hard, almost hyperventilating.

Something I keep neglecting to mention here is my effort to learn enough Hebrew that I can at least sound it out by Rosh Hashanah. I don't think I'm going to make it, since it's now Thursday and I haven't opened the book since Friday.

Lame

Eating: nothing
Drinking: water
Listening: Lizard Stick, now Needles in the Camel's Eye

So, I had my little meeting. It had the exact tenor of a failed on-campus interview. I was extremely nervous, he didn't know anything about me or seem especially interested, and there were a bunch of things I wish I had said differently. The whole thing was just very ... unenthusiastic. Not sure my Chinese would be up to it, anyway.

I am in a listless, surf the internet kind of mood. I think I'll try to finally finish the fucking Hainan summary and get it out to YC before I leave for my CLE, which is at 6.

Semi-frantic morning

Eating: I had some cereal an hour and a half ago
Listening: Nothing but I may put on some Fela
Drinking: Water? I had some iced coffee on the train
Reading: Joko on awareness yesterday on the train, Claudia Roden last night in bed, an academic paper on autonomy on the train

I am torn between obsessing about meeting MR and fretting about how to explain to YC et al that I haven't done anything. I actually was able to settle into reading some regs last night, but only once I was on the train. Spent the last hour or so at work looking at Youtube, mainly. The reading was nice though because it showed that the task is not beyond my abilities. This morning (time permitting) I may try to do a blackline of the 97 regs against the 04 regs.

I ran after getting home, as planned. 2.1 miles. I also did pushups, 9 8 6 5. The pushups are getting easier. The running was fine too, although I did notice that I was pronating a lot - the outside edge of my foot is completely flat when I stand.

I had kind of a weird morning with the Tiny Monster. She didn't seem that interested in hangin out with me. I haven't seen her in the evenings in a while, which might be the reason.

While meditating last night I daydreamed a lot, and thought about the Joko passage that I had read on the way home, which said something like some people can sit on the cushion and daydream for 20 years. Is that something I should worry about? I don't know that I can stop myself from daydreaming, and it may be better, or at least constructive in some way, to sit still even if I'm spacing out.

Or Maybe

Eating: a salad (greek) from the Caf
Listening: Secret Chiefs
Drinking: water

On second thought, I'm going to spend another hour trying to work, and then head home for a run and pushups. I have been doing those pronation exercises sporadically.

Limping along

I am just kind of scraping by here. I haven't done much reading of Chinese regs, although I've read up - kind of compulsively - on this MR person, and done my various errands, and spoken to my parents (it's their anniversary). I am getting a knot in my stomach thinking about tomorrow. I am thinking about going to the gym, but I also need to do some working and printing ... not sure what to do.

One nice thing about today is that it did not feature a two-hour food coma after lunch.

I think I'm going to go to the gym.

Politics and lunch don't mix

Listening: 3 6 Mafia, Stay Fly (Diplo remix)
Drinking: nothing (but I just had a double espresso)
Eating: Kentucky ham appetizer and tartare at Bar Americain

Just had an interview lunch with DL and a really nice candidate from the Midwest. Altogether a pleasant experience, although Sarah Palin came up and I had to defuse the situation.

I spoke to SK this afternoon and I am going ahead with my meeting tomorrow afternoon, even though I really don't have any intention of going anywhere. That will require some prep - I want to read at least one of MR's articles, some China Business, and do a little review of the stuff that I've worked on here. I was supposed to send her a CV but I don't really see the point - my CV is five years old and I don't have any interest in revising it this afternoon.

There is a ton of other nonsense I have to do this afternoon - pay my most-overdue student loan, register for a CLE, read some more Chinese regulations, email YC about changing the time for the meeting tomorrow. I think I am going to neglect my big deal in favor of those.

Looking for something to read on the can (which is one of the biggest risks around here - sometimes turns into a horrible thirty minutes of desperately searching the net for a first-person account of sailing across the Pacific or something along those lines), I hit Arts and Letters Daily, and found some great stuff. Just now I read an incredible piece on bullfighting, and earlier this morning I read an amazing book review on economics and culture. It may be the meditating, but I am less worked up about immigration than I used to be, although I still agree with the author on this point:
All-important shared cultural values can erode or be lost if too many immigrants with persistent Malthusian mindsets join in only to exploit the comforts of a wealthy host country. The result may be the same if kindhearted multiculturalists remove the pressures on newcomers to adapt to the needs of productive life in Australia. The necessary integration does not require that immigrants give up their cuisine or festivals, but they must adopt fundamental values such as the commitments to self-reliance and to save and invest, as well as a respect for the fundamental rule of law, which also implies shunning violence.

Not sure if the gym is in the cards today, I'll see how the afternoon goes. I can't go home early because the gd inlaws are there, no doubt walking around with their shoes on and pawing through my closet.

There is only room on this earth for one A Feng

Apparently I have the same name as this twat.

It's about to rain

Eating: cereal and Green Magma for breakfast, banana right now
Drinking: just had the last of the laobanzhang, steeped overnight
Reading: last night - a Paul Bowles short story, The Echo; this a.m. - finished Control of Nature, re-read the first half of Melting Ice Cubes

I had an interesting talk with my shrink this morning about owning my problems. No need to go into details though. DL and I are taking an interviewee out for lunch today, and he just got incredibly angry with me for defending Sarah Palin (her Christian fundamentalism), said he was bailing on the lunch, and hung up. I can't help it, I just don't like Obama at all. Anyway, I was able to talk him down. Although, he just sent me this video, so maybe I wasn't totally successful.

I forgot to do my pushups this morning until after the nanny had arrived and I had put my tie on. Running is also unlikely today because of the interview lunch. Maybe a rest day is in order anyway. My legs felt really tired climbing the stairs last night.

Good Advice Across the Board

Eating: some healthy ("grass-fed") beef tacos, with like no beef and lots of vegetables, which is about right
Drinking: mixed vegetable juice (both from SeamlessWeb)
Listening: the Patti Dooke ("dilute it / pollute it")

Wasting more time. Just found this exercise for correcting pronation. Should try to do that. While I was running with The Better Half this weekend, she noted that I pronate like my life depends on it.

From UltRunR:
Focused Attention: Be aware of distractions. Breathe out unwanted thoughts with your next exhale and re-focus your attention instantly on what is important.

It's not called subalpine fir

It's called Engelmann Spruce.

Tennis et cetera

Eating: a larabar and two Starbursts at 4
Listening: the live webcast of Federer v. Murray
Drinking: long late steeps of the Laobanzhang

Between the last post and my 4 pm call, I didn't really get much done with the drafting, although it was more than I've done in the last week, so I guess that's something. I spent some time looking at wood-burning camping stoves on the internet and reading about winter camping in general. I have this mental image of making matcha from melted snow among the tall still subalpine firs (I think they are firs) of British Columbia, and using twigs from said firs as fuel, and it's a nice image, but my job is undoubtedly more important. Back from the call, I sat right down and hammered out the drafting, and sent it to JS. It's not perfect, but I think it's pretty close to working, and it's good to move the ball forward a bit.

I was getting pretty sleepy on the phone, maybe thanks to the Starburst. I need to think about office snacks. I haven't yet found anything that makes me not hungry but not asleep.

The tail end of the Laobanzhang is so good. It is so sweet and round. I had completely forgotten how good this stuff is. And last I checked I have a lifetime supply of it (the 2006 anyway).

Federer, of course, started fucking up as soon as I turned on the webcast. Not that I can control that.

forgot to mention

Drinking: I am celebrating the fact that I have finally unpacked my teakettle (after moving to this office two months ago?) with some 2005 Xizihao Laobanzhang. It's nice. I'm not really paying attention to it though.

Entry the first

Reading (on train): Control of Nature
Reading (last night): The 'way of the icecube' passage in Nothing Special
Eating: cereal for breakfast, a larabar at 11, a Chop't East Hampton Cobb at the desk for lunch

Just back from the gym, where I did 30' at 3.2mph, on a 15 incline, and 150# pulldowns, 2 2 2 2. The long hard road to being able to do a pullup begins. I am following the one hundred pushups program, on the easiest setting, for pulldowns, with the hope that I will be able to crank up the pulldown amount and/or lose weight to the point where the two numbers converge and pullups will happen. I actually found the pulldowns pretty easy, although I wouldn't have wanted to do more than two in a set. The walking was ok, although I started to feel desperate / caged by the end - an email telling me that JS had called did not help there, as I have been totally procrastinating a minor drafting task for her for four days. I still haven't called her back. My legs did not hurt much despite doing a watered-down version of Mark Twight's "easy" workout on Saturday (60 air squats, run 800m, 60 air squats) and running 2 miles with The Wife and La Monstrita on Sunday. I was hurting yesterday but I feel fine now.

I was not so focused this morning. The drafting is not happening and I need to get cracking on the Chinese legal research too. Instead I read about the Dunblane massacre and its perpetrator.

I meditated last night for 16 minutes and will be going up to 17 tonight. I kind of lost my nerve with about a minute to go, cracked my wrist and checked the time, and I'm not sure what triggered the 'spasm' (as Joko, following Benoit, calls it) but I wasn't able to stay with it and having a learning experience. I think it might have been thinking (competitive thoughts) about JB.

I also had this bizarre dream the night before last - I had to meet someone at an inn, which was in Queens. I took a cab over the bridge (from Manhattan) and descended into a kind of sprawling rural slum, with dirt roads and huge overhanging banyan trees, the sort of landscape you'd expect to see in Burma or Cambodia. The road was swarming with streetwalkers, hundreds of them, all clearly Southeast Asian. We got to the inn, which was a little two-and-a-half story farmstead next to the road, and I walked past some more hookers who were sitting around the courtyard and started climbing an exterior ladder to the attic / loft. As I got to the top, I looked down and realized that I had climbed past the two people I was to meet, two Buddhist monks, who were sitting on a porch on the second floor. They noticed me at the same time, and gassho'd, and I gassho'd back, feeling incredibly relieved and open.