You Can Taste The Bright Lights But You Won't Get Them For Free

Eating: yet another Harvest Cobb

Drinking: making some Taiwanese oolong

Listening: Schubert

 

20' hill climb, 3 rounds of 3 pullups (actually two rounds were chinups) and 5 knee lifts, 50 bosu tucks, 5 dips, 5 rounds of 5/side 15# overhead and 5 standing rows (40#) plus an extra ten standing rows on a balance board, 15-breath tuck on the balance board ... I feel like I'm forgetting something.  A very good workout.  I went down there unmotivated, shinsplinty, and kind of lethargic, and I ended up doing more than was on the routing.

 

A thought about squats.  They are getting easy, and it's time to max out the reps completely each time and/or to start adding weight.  I still found the jump squats murderously hard so maybe those should figure in more heavily. 

 

Also, my shin splints are pretty bad (they certainly kept me from running today, or would have if work hadn't) but walking uphill doesn't bother them at all.  I also hit the hot tub and did some ankle turns in there, which was nice.  That super creepy gay Italian guy was hanging around, which kind of spoiled the experience.

 

I'm reading Mind of Clover now.  I bought it based solely on the title - I never would have imagined being interested in a book on ethics - but I am finding it quite profound. 

Inglorious

Eating: some Indian food, soon
Drinking: water (had some more puer before)
Listening: nothing, because the monster is sleeping

Just did my sissy version of Bustin' Glory.  5 x (8 air squats, 3 precision box jumps, 5 situps), 5 x (10 side-to-side jumps, 3 pushups) 1 x (10 jump lunges, 10 jump squats).  Whew.  Doesn't look like much when you write it down.  The jump squats were fucking evil.  Pure evil.  I could just barely finish the tenth. 

Just occurred to me that side-to-side jumps were really the only think I ever liked about dryland training.  That and the smell of fall in the air. 

I Never Went South

Eating: just had a banana

Drinking: water

Listening: Ligeti

 

Went running last night, 4 x 4 block sprints.  Fucking awful.  I could feel the outline of my lungs in my chest, and I burned out at the two-block point each time.  This morning I have mild shin splints, which probably means that I was slapping my feet.  No idea what to do about that. 

 

I'm going to do the Bustin' Glory again tonight.  The pussy version, of course, but I do plan to put my boots on for the step-up.  I also want to make sure I have enough in reserve to do the blasters.

 

Obsessed with skiing.  I found a company that does sail/ski tours to Iceland and I am considering actually trying to talk the boss into letting me go. 

Nothing to Report

Eating: just had bagel and lox, apple

Drinking: water

Listening: GOCJ 1 (yesterday was kebyar day and today is Java day)

 

So last night, before meditating for the first time in a week, I decided to do pushups 9 11 8 8, which was the same set I had tried and failed to do as part of a combo, crossfit-type workout last week.  I got six of the first eight done and gave up.  My arms did not feel strong.  I don't totally understand this.  The run yesterday went very well.  I hadn't had any caffeine, I had been sitting at my desk all day, and dinner was kind of heavy, but I still don't understand.  So, I think I'm going to once again drop back a week.

 

Meditation last night (only ten minutes) was pretty awful.  I fidgeted a lot and checked the time once (before throwing the watch over my shoulder).  I have been feeling the lack of meditation lately, so I think it's time to bring it back.  I just did five minutes sitting at my desk and feel pretty good about that.  Probably shouldn't be keeping score ... I was also just looking at the Brooklyn Zen Center website (very close by). 

Another Sunday Run

Eating: had some cereal

Drinking: water, had some coffee

Listening: Grayfolded

 

Ran the loop this morning.  Felt great and even passed a bunch of people.  My legs feel kind of tight and I am looking forward to taking it easy tomorrow and maybe doing some stretching. 

 

I am in the office again, and really in no mood to be here.  I have a lot to do so I hope I can focus. 

 

Getting Serious About Skiing

Eating: nothing yet today
Drinking: 1994 Menghai
Listening: nothing

Just did a shortened, modified version of this.  5 x (8 air squats, 3 box jumps (onto a little stool), 5/side x 2 crunches), 3 x 20 side to side jumps with a leg stretch in between, 3 x (1' stepups (barefoot), 30" tuck, 30" rest).  Tucks are hard.  Side-to-sides are fun.  I am ready for breakfast.  Going to make some bread and do some hip stretches. 

That Achy Lung Feeling

Eating: had some cake and a Larabar at work
Drinking: water
Listening: nothing

Just did pushups 9 11 8 8, no problem (a little tired, insulin?) and the xfit endurance WOD, 4 (should have been 6) x 2' sprints, with 1' breaks.  I feel kind of barfy.

Mirror Ashes

Eating: a Lara bar, having just eaten one of those natural Clif bars

Drinking: Nothing, but I sure should be drinking some water

Listening: Grayfolded

 

At the gym: pulldowns 3 4 2 3, OH barbells (only 10 pounds) / pushups 9 11 8 8 (although I collapsed after 4 pushups on the second-to-last set and did not do the last; lame), knee lifts 10, deadlifts / bosu squats 9 11 8 8 (40 pound bar), crunches 10 / side.  I warmed up by rowing 5 minutes (1098m).

 

I have a new Chinese teacher, whose first act was to assign me a 15 page article, which I haven't read yet.  Ugh.  Off to a good start. 

Ca Commence

Eating: just had some cereal
Drinking: water, but not enough
Listening: La Femme d'Argent

Just ran the Prospect Park loop in exactly 30 minutes. That is three minutes faster than last time, a nine-minute pace. I felt good. I went quite a bit faster at the beginning, then my breathing got a little ragged and I slowed down. Also, it was cold as hell.

Another thing - my calves are very sore. I read somewhere (maybe Vancouver Barefoot) that this would happen, and it did.

Trois Pistoles

Eating: going to have some pot au feu that I fucked up last Sunday
Drinking: water (see below)
Listening: Kebyar

Just did 3 x pistols / side, 3 x pushups, 5 x squats, 10 x single-arm overhead presses / side holding my Sigg (filled up, of course), repeated over 10 minutes.  I feel quite buzzed.  Great, actually.  This is basically a super-pussy version of a Crossfit routine, and also fits with a running program I found (will post later) where Friday is the strength day and Sunday the long run (which in my case will just be 3.3). 

My right knee felt a little crunchy when I went too deep on the pistols. 

I think the whole routine could have been either harder or longer or both, too.  I didn't feel at all sore from the gym yesterday, and that's kind of a sign that it wasn't hard enough.  Well, live and learn. 

Back to the publishing agreement!

Timeless

Eating: just had pulled pork at Ted's

Drinking: just had a Boddington's at Ted's

Listening: My Favorite Things

 

No time to discuss, but I just did 20' climb (3.2 and 3.3), pulldowns 2 3 2 2, pushups on ball 8 10 7 7, lunges 12/side, one-leg squats 10/side, knee curls 12, bosu squats with bar 20 (more like 2 x 10), deadlift bar 10, standing row 10, overhead press 10.  This last was horribly hard and I was sloppy around number 8. 

A Test

Listening: Long Island Wildin'

Eating: another Chop't salad

Drinking: bad old oolong and water

 

Just got back from the gym.  I hill-climbed for only ten minutes, and then ran at a slightly under eight minute pace.  I had planned to do that for a mile, but I was pretty kicked after two minutes and behind schedule, so I stopped.  I failed to hit the goal in both pulldowns (4, 4) and pushups (10, 12, 3), did ten one-leg squats each leg (very hard, esp on left), ten deadlifts, ten standing rows and ten overhead presses.  The last were very hard.  I felt weak and tired.  The best thing I can say about this episode is it's better than not going to the gym. 

 

Meditated for 19 minutes last night.  It went pretty well.  I looked at the time twice, then tossed the watch over my shoulder.  I don't know why I never thought of that before.  Generally today I'm feeling pretty alert and organized.  I've moved the computer so that passerby can see my screen, which is a powerful disincentive to fucking around. 

A Sunny Day in the Office

Eating: nothing
Drinking: water
Listening: Music of the Gamelan Gong Kebyar

I am on a real Balinese music kick these last couple days. Tenzer came off the shelf while my parents were here, I think because I wanted to show my dad what a gamelan looked like, and since then I've been going through my gong kebyar and gong gede CDs and listening to the new kingklik / rindik CD I just bought.

I didn't get as much done yesterday as I wanted to, but that's how it goes. I was reasonably focused all day, but it wasn't enough. I did manage to meditate. After a while I succumbed to the temptation to look at the watch, and it said eight minutes. Not bad, it had felt like about ten that I had been sitting there. After a while I looked again (lame). It said 12. I had hit stopwatch instead of timer. If I was better at this shit, I would have just sat there all night.

The alarm went off at 6:30 this morning, but I didn't get out of bed until 7:15, which is still not bad. I ran the 3.3 mile loop in the park, mixing it up a bit by hitting the dirt trail that runs next to it for maybe a quarter of the way. I did it in almost exactly 33 minutes, so about a ten-minute pace - not bad, but room for improvement. My left ankle did feel a little tight, although I relaxed it and did ten circles with my hand before running. I started out feeling groggy, with a headache, but that was all gone after about a mile and I felt fine the rest of the way (but did not get into that state where I feel like I can run forever). Some guy passed me, easily, before the hill and I cranked on the uphill so well that I almost caught him. Almost, but not quite. My breathing was getting pretty ragged too, so I was probably going max speed. I feel great now, although my quads are burning from yesterday.

I had hoped to hit the gym today too, but seeing as it's quarter to 11 and I haven't done anything, that may have to wait until tomorrow.

The Solitary Life

Eating: some old roast chicken and a salad of mixed microgreens from the Greenmarket.

Listening: Musique pour la Gong Gede

Drinking: water, not enough

So, I have about ten hours worth of work and maybe five hours to do it in?  Something like that.  Obviously, an all-nighter is out of the question.  Anyway, I have so much work that the Wife and the Baby have gone to the In-Laws for the night.  I am being less productive than I should be, but more productive than I might be expected to be or than I would have been a year ago.  The delights of the internet notwithstanding.  

I had a very, very good meditation last night.  The only analogy I can make is to balancing on a rope, or maybe riding a bike.  The sensation was sort of like using my breath to pull in a line, but combined with a sense of careful balance.  

Being that I'm here alone, I got some good exercising done today.  Pushups 9 11 8 8 (week two of 100), crossover situps just ten per side, and then a Twight workout where I did 60 squats (20-20-20 first round, 6 of 10 second round) and ran 800m at what felt to me like a eight-minute pace.  It felt good.  There is still (still) some tightness in my left ankle that I don't like.  At worst it feels like I'm peglegging, kind of poling myself along.  Not a good feeling, but I'm not really doing anything about it either.  

Tomorrow morning I plan to do the park early, if I can get up early that is.  I think just the three-mile loop, but who knows, maybe I'll feel really energetic.  

back at it

Eating: coconut Larabar
Drinking: nothing
Listening: Rocks Off

Finally made it back to the gym. I only managed to do a 20' climb and 2' of running at an 8 minute pace before I was called back to the office, though. Still, it felt great to stretch out a bit. Back on the wagon!

Another dream and no exercise.

Eating: just had half a Clif bar and going to Insieme for an interview lunch
Drinking: nothing
Listening: some guzheng

We just had another TAP meeting. I am finally getting some summaries done but not enough, and I told YC I'd send them to her tomorrow. On top of that I am probably going to have to turn the PSA tonight.

I had a funny dream last night, that we went en famille to Beijing and turned out to be staying in the same nice but dilapidated hotel as ZA and her husband and kid, and some of their friends. Her husband (who in the dream was an English guy) was kind of a dink, but otherwise the dream left me with a pretty good feeling. I love getting to dream about the Little Monster, it makes me so happy.

No exercise happening today, but I am going to do the desk stretches now.

OTSC

Eating: just had half a Clif bar (pumpkin flavor?) and about to go to OT supper club
Drinking: some kind of gushu chawang from I think 06, it is very very good
Listening: Whispers, Hymns and a Murmur

Yesterday (Rosh Hashanah) I ran 2.3 miles with the little rodent. We ran into one of the wife's mommyfriends but I don't think she noticed the Five Fingers.

Was just at the gym. Treadmill only. 30' 3.2 at 15, then I ran for 2' at 7.5 mph (8 minute miles). I felt like I was made out of lead and on the verge of asphyxiation during the climb. It was really miserable from a psychological point of view. No energy (or time for that matter) to do any pushups.

RH was good. We had the whole team (incl. CZ) over for dinner. The brisket was ... beyond. And I must say my harira was very good too. The FIL completely behaved himself. I mean, he outshone himself. I wouldn't have thought ever that he had it in him to be so nice. The BIL in contrast is being a douche, but it's kind of easy to see why - he feels generally threatened (fear and anger are the primary motivators of most minds) and he's freaking out over being a dad.

I had this odd dream where I was a passenger in my own car, and it was being driven, through a hillier, snow-covered dream version of VT, by JB. Eventually I kicked him out of the driver's seat and drove myself (terrified, of course, that I would make a mistake). There was something to do with a gathering at his property too. Also, I made MM cry, bitterly, but I don't recall how. I wouldn't have described myself as being attracted to her, but her appearance in my dream makes me think otherwise, maybe. I mean, I've always entertained the fantasy of fucking her and thereby cuckolding JB, but something about this dream makes me think that I might in fact be actually interested in her for her own sake.

New Year

Eating: I had some cereal in the caf
Drinking: nothing
Listening: Satie

I have been here for an hour and a half, but I don't have much to show for it. I had an insane weekend, with the parents visiting and lots of cooking to do for the Rosh Hashanah dinner we are hosting. I did manage to run the whole Prospect Park loop yesterday (3.3 miles) but that was the only exercise that happened. I am today surprisingly sore from the experience - it's so important to stretch, and I haven't been doing it regularly. Another interesting thing is that I feel really weak in the legs, which shouldn't be the case. I can't remember if I walked up the stairs for food or not.

Yesterday I worked like a goddamned machine, though. I just sat down and gave 'er. My mom was around (watching the LM - the others had gone to the store) and I expected her to talk too much and make it impossible to get anything done, but she did just the opposite. I clearly need to set up some kind of strategy with SWMBO whereby she doesn't call out to me every three minutes about some irrelevant task she needs me to do when I am working. Another thing is that my mom didn't resent the fact that I was working instead of helping her with the dishes.

My dream last night included a vision of Westmount with another mountain behind it, quite tall and steep and also covered with houses, so close that if felt like I could touch it, but with a deep valley between me and it. I was surprised that it was there - I had never noticed it after all those years in Montreal - but I felt like it was something I had dreamed about before.

I Still Got It

Eating: yet another Chop't salad
Drinking: agua
Listening: Serge G, nuit d'octobre

Just got back from the gym, where I walked 30' at 3.2 (15 incline, of course) and did pushups (10 8 6 6) with my feet on the extra large ball. The pushups felt good, and I went to pretty much the point of exhaustion. A little annoyed to be in some kind of Groundhog Day situation w/r/t pushups - permanently stuck on the last day of the 100 pushups program. Oh well. I felt strong.

I am having weird feelings in the bottom of my foot, specifically in the big toe part of the ball of my left foot. Still very worried about pronation. I need to remember to keep it nice and slow for now. I just found this stretching program, which is great, but I need to actually do it, and that is not going to be easy. Of course, nothing is easy.

I am finally reading the Vimalakirti sutra (the Thurman translation, from Tibetan, which is supposedly a truer version than Xuantang or Kumarijiva) and I have to say I find the discursive Indian sutra style very annoying. Why is it annoying? It is annoying because it is repetitive. Why is it repetitive? It is repetitive because even if the bhagavan repeated the dharma more times than there are grains of sand in all the jewel-encrusted universes of the trillion brahmas and indras, some people would still totally miss the point. God, I don't even have the energy to diss this book. I need caffeine. I don't have any water here, so it becomes a production. BK has an espresso machine but he has other shit that he needs to do. Oh well.

Back from the Desert

Eating: tilapia with 'wild' (oyster) mushrooms and Israeli couscous from the caf
Listening: Yagi Michiyo
Drinking: last of the Kunming 98

So, back from Sedona and the GC. The wedding was wonderful. I walked a lot, ran once, did not meditate, and did no work. The hammer is about to fall on the China thing - I have to produce today. I ran/walked exclusively in the FFs, and they were great, even on the sharp rocks in Sedona. The whole experience made me want to run ten miles a day. The GC was especially inspiring. We took the Little Monster down to mile 1.5 on the Bright Angel trail. The walk back up was a snap, I think the whole thing took us about 2.5 hrs. In retrospect we could have gone farther. The LM was a dream for the whole trip, but especially on the hikes - she cooed or slept pretty much the entire time. Hiking with a kid is the best, everyone is so nice to you.

In the realm of interpersonal relationships, I had a great time. JB did not come to the rehearsal dinner and was semi-isolated at the wedding. I didn't speak to him once. I had some really fun times hanging out with AS and PP without him, and we also got to see the Newlyweds at their place after the wedding, which come to think of it was the highlight of the wedding for me (that and getting so much time with the LM).

The House is on Fire

Eating: Harvest Cobb from Chop't
Drinking: making some B-grade pu'er
Listening: EK's Asa Tru

I got home last night in time to spend some wonderful QT with the Little Gorilla. We put her in the Kelty backpack that we got this weekend and she had a blast playing with the straps and my head and just generally enjoying the view. While my Better Half was nursing her, I went for a run in the FFs. Just down to GAP and back, about one mile. They felt great. They are so light that I hardly notice them, and they don't flap around like the aquasocks. I think I am doing a pretty good midfoot landing too. Really, really psyched to run in Sedona.

Made it to the gym again today. I did 5 minutes hard on the erg, then 2 x 20 squats w/ bar on the bosu, then 2 x 10 deadlift to standing row to overhead press, then an agonizing 10 lunges per side with 25# barbells (I think I was supposed to do 2 x 15 - ha), then pushups on the ball 9 8 6 4, which felt good like a motherfucker, then cross-crunches, 10 per side. This is more or less based on some Outside crap that I read yesterday slash Gym Jones. Anyway it was - fuck I forgot my steeping tea. Mmm, paint thinner. Anyway it was a great workout and I feel great right now. Weights is a funny thing. Before zen came into my life, I don't think I really got the core concept, which is that you have to repeat something many, many times before you get better at it. Which is the core concept to life in general, I think.

I meditated for 18' last night, which felt pretty good. I had kind of slacked on meditating over the weekend. I only managed 5' Sunday night, because I was so tired. Not sure if the foreboding / anxiety Sunday and Monday is from not meditating, from drinking too much, from not working enough, or from the janjaweed. One thing about that though, it made me into a GT animal.

And, work. The BH is worried about my job, and I suppose she should be, because it's the apocalypse, but life will go on with or without my job, and I have been working pretty hard. My focus has generally been better than it was in Tax, but it could still improve.

Daihatsu weekend; RIP DFW

Eating: just had some leftover pot-au-feu
Drinking: water
Listening: nothing, because I left my iPod at home

All told I had a fun weekend, although my overall anxiety level is rising. We had S and M over for brunch on Saturday, and T and P (and J) over on Sunday. JB was having his housewarming party Saturday night but I had no interest in that, so SM came back over and he and The Wife went together. When they got back, SM and I played like three hours of Gran Turismo, which was incredibly fun. One of the really fun things about it is: I don't suck at it.

Being home while my woman and one of my best friends went to my enemy's house for a party was clarifying. When she came back I really appreciated her presence and I think I was much nicer to her on Sunday as a result. Another thing that contributed to some kind of bittersweetness was that I listened to 'Jugband Blues' a couple times over the weekend. Poor Syd, and what a great song.

I made it to the gym today, but didn't do so well - only 20 minutes on the treadmill (3.1, 15) and pulldowns 4 3 3 2. No iPod, and CNBC was pretty scary, plus just not feeling that energetic - still a little sick maybe and not enough sleep. Also this creepy Italian guy that I spoke to once or twice was loitering around while I was doing the pulldowns. It's really weird being checked out - I feel sorry for the girl I was (mainly unconsciously) staring at on the subway this morning.

I was pretty sad to learn that DFW killed himself. Always thought we were going to hear more from him.

OK, that's enough for now. Got some indemnification provisions to review.

FIF

I just did the Twight easy (only 60 squats) with my FFs on.  I got some weird looks, I think; I was trying not to notice.  The running part was great, though.  They are better than aquasocks for sure.  The squats were hell.  I don't know if it's being sick or what but it took me forever to get out of bed this morning and ten squats felt like more than enough.  

Last night was fun.  I got home pretty early, and we hung out with La Monstrita (who was in a great mood), then made dinner (arroz de polvo and artichokes) and watched a bunch of TV.  I got pretty baked about halfway through the cooking process, and I have to say that made America's Toughest Jobs a lot more interesting, and the first twenty minutes of Scrubs (right up to the moral lesson) a lot funnier.  I had never seen ATJ before.  They were panning for gold in Alaska, and when I turned it on they were showing some of the contestants calling their families by satellite phone.  The mother of one of the contestants had cancer, and that took me right back.  

Just thinking about KK.  It's funny, his talk of being worse (ie. more depressed) in the morning / daytime didn't make any sense to me when he said it, but of course I've always been a bit like that myself.  In college and law school, for instance, I would routinely set my alarm for 8, turn it off, and sleep until 10, and hate myself for it.  That's why I need a job - it gives some structure to the first four hours of the day.  

I read RJ's dissertation proposal (or anyway most of it) on the train home yesterday.  I was delighted to find that it is really fantastic, a serious and thoughtful proposal.  For some reason I expected a lot more jargon and humanitiesspeak than was in there.  I need to remember to call her and talk to her about it.  

Did not meditate last night.  I was too tired and semi-drunk by the time all the cleanup was done, and I just wanted to go to bed.  I read two Bowles stories (The Circular Valley and The Delicate Prey) and both of them creeped me out.

Just did pushups 10 8 6 4, found them pretty easy.  

Updates

Let's see ... I had Indian food for dinner last night, and Menchanko-Tei for lunch.  I am feeling less sick but still not 100%.  At work today I was fairly disciplined, not my best but not my worst.  

I just got a pair of Vibram Five Fingers, black KSOs.  The Wife thinks they are unspeakably ugly.  The plan was to run in them this aft but it is cold and pouring rain, so so much for that.  The right one doesn't fit so well, what with my trashed big toe, but I am still very very excited to try them out tomorrow.

chomp chomp

Eating: a Harvest Cobb from Chop't
Drinking: water, I guess
Listening: I Am The Upsetter; On The Wings Of The Haoma

Just back from the gym. I did 21', 15 climb at 3.0mph. Just right for being sick. 150# pulldowns 4 3 3 2, pushups 10 8 8 5. Felt really, really good. I was right at the edge of exhaustion for the last pushup.

It turns out that the person that I thought was RM at chez MR yesterday was, in fact, RM. AR told me he ran into her over the phone, so I Facebooked her and we're having coffee this afternoon. Had a good talk with AR. He underscored the importance of being civil to the Wife's dad. Which I guess is good advice, but putting it into practice is not going to be easy.

Another thing from the gym - I weighed myself, and I'm 190#. I was thinking 186 would be nice, because that's what I weighed in college.

On a new matter with DM and JS, who I'm kind of afraid of. It sounds like an interesting project though.